WOW, Ain't that just spiffy?

So, now that my sister has COMPLETELY cut me out of her life, I guess I can post about her now since I know she will never read it. Although most of me wants to just tell her to go to hell, I will not allow myself to stoop to such levels. I aught to stop writing now because I am madder than hell, but if I do that then I won't be able to get my true feelings out and pent up anger is only cause for medical issues in the future so here it goes.

Around my son's birthday, my mom came to visit. No biggie, right? I live 10 hours or so away from her, it's an easy drive. Mind you my sister, yea she lives about 3 days away (4 hours by plane) in Washington state.

Anyways I searched for the exact comment to get it read and to see exactly where it went wrong. I FOUND THE COMMENT!!! You aren't going to believe your eyes when you read it!! It was on my mom's page!


Dated: January 20,2010 at 6:56am. Mom put "is getting ready for her drive to Cincinnati.....I65 watch out"
comments are as follows:


Donna D make it a safe trip Patty!!
January 20 at 7:23am

Kim D Have fun Patty!
January 20 at 7:40am

Crystal Himes Kuhns oh no that means you are on your way here!
January 20 at 7:52am ·

Patty Vetter-Bacciri i can go to nashville instead
January 20 at 7:57am

Patty Vetter-Bacciri i am sure i can find something to do there for 5 days
January 20 at 7:57am

Tarylyn Himes Burge must be nice
January 20 at 12:46pm

Crystal Himes Kuhns Aww you wanna come visit sista? :)
January 20 at 12:57pm ·

Terry T V Have a great time!
January 20 at 4:03pm


Ok, so the confusion sets in now. Shortly after this status message was posted, mom noticed my sister's absence from the Bejeweled Blitz application and I did quickly after. The next day, my husband and my mom's husband were also missing her from their friends list.

I am not sure where in this message, (which is the last message that Tarylyn was seen to comment on) did I or anyone else insult her or anyone else in her family. I have no idea why my sister stopped talking to me. Am I upset? Sure. Am I going to lose sleep? HELL NO! My life will go on.

I am pissed because back in August I spent an unspecified amount of money to get 2 plane tickets to go up there to visit her for which I was so excited to do. I spent most of that week, in her house watching her play world of war craft next to her husband in their Internet cafe setup in their living room. Brandon was a turd, but he was 2 1/2. Her 3 kids were no angels either which is fine but I am not their mother and I had to step in and yell at Brandon several times for stuff I know he wasn't doing.

I love my sister and it totally breaks my heart that she has gone and pushed HER family away. The family she married into is her family too but have never been there for her when she was younger. Her posts on her blogs piss me off too telling lies about how my family was when we were younger.

this is from her blog entitled "my absence" dated November 14, 2009. I really really got upset at this and have answered her in the form of an unsent letter due to the fact that I am pretty damn sure she won't read it or even care if she actually did read it.


Saturday, November 14, 2009
My absence
I really didn't expect to not blog about my last post, but I think I just realized that people can COMPLETELY change and I think I am one of those people. I was brought up in a family that drank, got drunk, partied, etc just about every flipping weekend and I learned to loathe it because I saw just how absolutely STUPID people looked/acted when they were drunk. I grew up in a home that didn't actively go to any church and freely used language that was inappropriate (in my eyes). I just have changed so much since being married to Brad and regardless of what my family may think, I think I am a heck of a better person now than I was 10 years ago. I did enjoy my sister's visit, but it was NOTHING like how I planned it. We did have a lot of fun, but to be honest...we didn't spend much time together outside of road trips. Not that that is a big huge deal, but it wasn't what I was expecting after not seeing my sister for three years.
I guess this brings me to my most current rant...you know, family sometimes just...WOW. I have 2 parents that I love, and am most thankful for because they gave me life, but I feel so completely estranged from them that talking to my dad feels like talking to a complete stranger, and having a mother that wonders about my kids constantly but can't take five minutes out of her day to call me on my birthday when I know for a fact that she calls my sister every EVERY flipping day drives me... NUTS. Jealous? sure, who wouldn't be? I've been treated this way for 27 years and quite frankly should be used to getting the short end of the stick, but quite obviously I'm not because I'm blogging about it. I think the biggest thing for me is I just can't understand WHY...or WHAT is wrong with me that I cannot have the same love and affection given to me that is given to others. Its really not a big deal, REALLY it isn't, but you know what...I am just tired of it. I actually moved to Washington State, the decision to do that was made so much easier by the fact that I was trying to run from my problems. I am glad Washington is as beautiful and lovely as it is (and thankful for the family that I have here) because the problems followed me. But through everything...I am so thankful for the choices I have made and the life that I live. People may not like me for it, but I know that I am a better person. And if you cannot accept me for who I am, then that is your decision and it's on your shoulders, not mine.


My response was much longer and well ya know what I am feeling a little honest tonight so why not just post it! WARNING!! It's long and you can almost hear my anger and frustration!

Dear Tarylyn,

Upon checking my blog, I came across yours and saw your new post. And before I make my comments on it, I want you to know that I love you. I do. I love you very much in fact. So much so that it hurts to not be able to tell you in person how I feel and have to instead write either a blog or an email to which either you can just delete or not read at all. I am not good at hiding my feelings about anything and eventually if I don’t at least write down how I feel to “get it out” so to speak, I will just explode. I do express myself in written word real well as I see that you still do too.
There are several factors in this particular post dated November 14, 2009, that really stood out to me. I felt the need to personally address these points, due to the fact that you aired false accusations about MY family on a public blog.

First you said, “I was brought up in a family that drank, got drunk, partied etc just about every flippin weekend.”
question 1. What family did you grow up with? I ask this because I remember almost every weekend in Germany when dad wasn’t in the field or deployed, we were out sight seeing. Sure there were parties, and I’ll admit some of them probably got a bit out of hand but it obviously wasn’t that bad, we all survived.
question 2. Do you only focus on the negative? I know we didn’t grow up with a maid and a personal chef but I was never beaten to a pulp or given black eyes or sent to bed without dinner. We had a very normal childhood with parents that liked to have a good time. Maybe their idea of a good time doesn’t fancy you now but you never got hurt. Please stop saying that our parents were basically neglecting their children because it’s so far from the truth it isn’t funny.

Second “I grew up in a home that didn’t actively go to church and used language that was inappropriate (in my eyes).”
OK back the steam roller up here! Sure we didn’t go to church as a family but I remember several times (numerous in fact) where we went with friends. And going to church doesn’t make you a better person. There are people in jail that were religious before going and probably still are but still did the crime to get in there. I still don’t go to church but that doesn’t make me any worse of a person.
The language issues has me rotflmao! Seriously? Do we need to revisit the days of holes in the walls, throwing scissors and them sticking in the wall, cussing like a sailor? Kudos to you for not using that language anymore but some of the stuff you say is still quite inappropriate in front of your kids (to me anyways).

Now on to my visit with you. You said “I did enjoy my sister’s visit, but it was NOTHING like how I planned it.”
How about you share some of what you had planned? When I got home I wrote in my journal about my trip. Every single day, in some detail. I had a great time but I can hardly call it a vacation. Yelling at not 1 but 4 kids just about every day drove me crazy! The worst part was I was always punishing Brandon every single time even though I know it wasn’t always his fault. I tried to help you out, I really did but my gosh I wasn’t there to take over. I was there 7 full days and when we weren’t out doing something you were on your computer. I even tried to talk to you once when I organized the entire bucket of legos into corresponding stacks of size. Seriously? And my visit wasn’t want you expected!? Think about it: I spent however much money to get there, paid for nearly everything we did and then sat around your house in between while you played World of Warcraft. Come on you said it yourself it had been 3 years since you saw me. you think due to that fact, you would change your gaming routine to spend time with me. Sure it’s hard with the kids at each other’s throats to do anything adult, but there had to be something to talk about. So, tell me what you were expecting?

“I have two parents that I love and am most thankful for because they gave me life, but I feel so completely estranged from them that talking to my dad feels like talking to a complete stranger, and having a mother that wonders about my kids constantly but can’t take five minutes out of her day to call me on my birthday when I know for a fact she calls my sister every flippin days drives me...NUTS.”
TIME OUT!! WHAT?
My relationship with both my parents is due to me desiring to have one. I want to be in touch with my mom. And contrary to what you believe, she doesn’t call me every day I usually call her and I don’t call her every single day either. Yes, we talk often because I talk to her like she is my friend. She is the person I go to when I need someone. I don’t have many friends I can do that with so while mom is here, I am going to call her as often as I want. The funny thing here is NO ONE IS STOPPING YOU FROM DOING THE SAME THING!!! Your relationship with our parents is only what YOU make of it. It is a 2 way street when it comes to them because they know we have our own little lives that we created with our husbands. We have kids and they demand so much of our time. They also have lives too. You just have to force your way in and become a part of that life. You and I are two completely different people. Yes we have the same parents, but that is about it. I see things almost on a whole nother spectrum than you do. I love to talk to people and meet new people. I am not shy at all. You are very reserved and don’t really talk to anyone. We are going to see the same thing, differently. The way mom and dad love you, I am sure is exactly how they love me. You have to accept it the way you feel comfortable and if it’s not good enough, then tell them!!

I am really glad that you are happy with your life that you created for yourself. I hope that nothing ever makes that happiness fade. I am sorry that you moved to Washington state to “run away from your problems”, I am not sure what problems you were running away from or if “problems” in this context is referring to “family”. I do want to let you know that before you push every single person in YOUR family away forever, just remember, IF something should happen between you and Brad, that WE will ALWAYS be your family. I will ALWAYS be your sister. I want to be there for you if you should you ever need me or want me there. I sincerely love you but if you keep saying stuff like this, and airing it publicly ( I know not too many people read it but it’s still there), then you will be doing just that. There is nothing wrong with you and no one loves you any different. It’s all about how YOU see it and accept it. I want and CRAVE that love and affection so I go after it!!
Please remember, I am writing this to YOU. I didn’t call mom or dad and tell them what was written or anything, they can read for themselves. I wrote this to let you know that your blog hurt ME. I hope after you read this, if you read it, that you will still talk to me. If not then I hope that you at least read it and will think about what I wrote. I will always be here for you!



I have also just recently changed my phone number and she doesn't have it. I don't have plans to give it to her either.